i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
