Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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