He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
