It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
