that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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