Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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