i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize