so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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