just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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