Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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