I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
