You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
