Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup

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(605): View more from South Dakota

i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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(212): View more from New York

No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.

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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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(917): View more from New York City

I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face

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(516): View more from New York

There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.

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