i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
