Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
