New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize