take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
