i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
