Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Did I show you my penis last night?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize