all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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