Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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