so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
