Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
