i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
