Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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