i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
