hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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