It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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