every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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