I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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