your thong is hanging out like whoa
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
