Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize