she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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