Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
