my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
