So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
