True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
