So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
