If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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