last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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