marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
