Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
there is glitter all over my balls
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
