She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
