i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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