how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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