we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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