I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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