My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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