Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
zippers are such a cool invention
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
