listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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