We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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