ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
