i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
