He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
