You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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