just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
