I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
