my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
