4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
