I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
All I want is dick and wine.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
