Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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