you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize