Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
