how can u be prego again
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
