I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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