She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize