thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
