i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
