i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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